Since finding out in November about the life changing event that was about to occur, I have experienced a tremendous amount of emotions. Shock, excitement, worry, anxiousness, happiness, sadness. Following week by week on how the life I was growing was changing every day, looking forward to reading facts and milestones throughout the first trimester. Wondering if everything was alright and making sure I was doing my job of staying healthy and resting plenty.
Back in December I was able to have an ultrasound done once my midwife revealed that I was a week further along than I had expected! I initially asked if I could get one done since the father was not able to attend the appointment, unfortunately ultrasounds are not just done for fun and they kindly declined my request due to not being far enough in the pregnancy. Until I received the good news, my midwife ordered the ultrasound with a big smile and briefly explained how she had suspected being further along.
For my prenatal appointment that following month it was just a check up to see how my vitals were and all the fun things that come along with monthly visits.
After receiving confirmation that everything was going great and both the father and I were able to hear our son’s heartbeat with the Doppler, we were on our way. Simple as that! My midwife explained that my next visit will consist of an hour long ultrasound where the technician will do a full anatomy scan and we will be able to find out the gender if we wanted. The father and I had spoke about waiting until we found out the gender to announce to the public about the little guy. I truly thought that I was going to have a girl, after reading the old wives tales and symptoms of each gender - I was convinced it had to be a girl.
Surprise mom and dad! Arriving at the medical arts building with a full and ready bladder for the ultrasound, I had no idea how much the little guy had grown over the past two months since last seeing him. Getting into the ultrasound room I sat in preparation as the technician squeezed the warm gel onto my little bump. I laid in memorization at how developed and detailed his spine, fingers, and toes have become. Exploring around my belly all while the technician was checking every inch of his body, I could not help but sit in awe at how truly amazing this experience is. In these mere moments I finally was understanding what other mothers have said about how wonderful it is to have the capability to create and protect life during these nine months. Watching him move around and the pulsing of his heart on the screen, had me smiling from ear to ear. We were able to leave the appointment with a booklet full of photos and a video of the ultrasound to show friends and family.
Dear future son,
I will give you the world and love you to all ends. I will try to be the best mother, that will never judge and will watch you every second to grow up into a beautiful human being. I want you to be able to look up to me and not be afraid to come for answers. I will always listen with open ears and embrace you with open arms. To take what I've learned in life and apply it to anything that comes your way, to never doubt the ability you have to change and impact the world. You are the only one in charge of your happiness. So love endlessly, fight for what you believe, work hard, and never forget to love yourself. Have an open heart, but be cautious too. Don't be afraid to go after your dreams, and know your parents will be here supporting everything you do. Both your father and I are not perfect, but be better than us. We will do everything in our power to raise you to the best of our abilities. Do things for YOU. Take everything the world gives you and run with it. Be the best you, and remember mommy and daddy will always love you.
My name is Jenna Lambertz and I am currently a senior at Iowa State University graduating with Bachelors of Science in Landscape Architecture this May. I was given another opportunity of life when I was adopted from Vietnam at the age of two. Coming from a pro-life choice by my birthmother I feel for the beautiful process of the ability to create and bring life to this Earth. I am aspiring to devote my time to spreading my passion for helping others and projecting positivity. To raise a loving and caring son to my very best ability. Admitting the challenges I have faced while giving hope to others that you can and will overcome the hard times. That there is always a brighter day tomorrow and that there is so much to be grateful for.
For my little guy:
I want you to know that I have loved you with all my heart from the very beginning. That you will be and have been one of the greatest things to happen to me. There have been plenty of challenges, but I want you to know nothing was ever your fault. I am here to love you unconditionally. You saved me, you gave me love and a sense of security from within. I can never thank you enough for that.